The Many Pranks of Fred and George Weasley
by Firedamaged
Summary: I have one or two ideas for funny stuff the twins could get up to whilst at Hogwarts. It's a crime their pranks don't get mentioned in the canon as often as they should, so here is one of my ideas, if it gets good reviews I might write more
1. Bath Time

Albus Percival Wulfric Brian Dumbledore was enjoying a long hot soak in his private bath whilst the rest of the school was enjoying their evening meal. He would send for something from the kitchens later, right now he wasn't particularly hungry. Truth be told after the day he'd had he didn't have much of an appetite.

The Weasley twins, he was sure it was them, had recently developed a taste for toilet humor. For most children this phase wasn't too bad, however with magical children it could be bad if not nipped in the bud quickly enough, with the twins' keen prankster minds things had gotten out of hand pretty quickly.

He still gagged at the memory of the excrement golem they'd sent after Moaning Myrtle. Filch had nearly had a heart attack at the trail of filth and destruction it had left in its wake. Everyone still preferred to use bubble-head charms when on the second floor, rather than risk the fumes that refused to go away. Hmm, it had been three weeks, he wondered if they might be magical in origin, he'd have to check.

He felt his thoughts slow down and his muscles un-knot themselves as the calming draughts laced into his bathwater started to take effect.

A minute later he felt the bath shudder. He felt his mind go on alert, even as it battled the calming effects of the water. He quickly cast a wandless detection charm and groaned as runes began to light up on the bathtub. He noticed time delay, calming and befuddlement runes before the entire bath gave one more long shudder and suddenly rear up on its back supports.

The bath was a magnificent thing, its bone white ceramic tub was held off of the floor by four bronze legs carved to resemble the forefeet of a hippogriff. There was a scene, etched in gold inlay around the tub depicting the four house mascots at play in a large forest clearing. When the bath began to shudder the scene was distorted into that of two lions laughing whilst the other house mascots dangled from various traps around the clearing. With the final shudder the four legs became animated and the whole tub reared back like a horse before galloping straight through the doorway of the headmaster's private bathroom leaving a large whole in the door.

Dumbledore was not happy, his bath had kidnapped him, was currently racing around the school like a wild animal and he couldn't escape because of a shield charm encasing the entire rim of the bath. He could do very little as he had left his wand inside his robes and could not break the wards on the tub wandlessly. He couldn't think how this could possibly get any worse. A loud cackling drew him out of his reverie. _'Oh no, not Peeves!'_

The great hall was full of students finishing off their evening meals. Everyone was tired from the excessive amounts of work they were doing with the exams so near. Some looked ready to drop right into their food from sheer exhaustion.

Suddenly a loud cackling had everyone on edge. Only one person in the castle made such a noise and if he was happy everyone else had better be on their guard. It was possibly one of the hardest but most widely learned lesson at Hogwarts.

Behind the cackling some could discern a loud rhythmic clanking and both sounds seemed to be getting nearer very quickly.

Most believed Peeves had possessed one of the suits of armour again and were wondering what he had planned with it. They were shocked when he came floating into the hall at about ceiling height, closely followed by a large ornate bathtub.

They were even more surprised when said bathtub dumped their naked headmaster inelegantly right into the middle of the great hall, before rearing onto it's hind legs and charging off back out of it again.

Harry, as with most of the students had no idea what had happened or whether it merited laughter, applause or horror. His fears that the headmaster had finally gone insane when he heard one of the Weasley twins whisper to the other as the bathtub reared; "Hi ho Porcelain! Away!"

He snorted into his dessert whilst silently praising them for the latest prank and wondering where they'd seen the Lone Ranger. This seemed to be the cue for the entirety of Gryffindor table to burst into laughter, swiftly followed by the rest of the school.

Dumbledore felt the shield atop his porcelain prison drop an instant before he was dumped unceremoniously onto the floor. All was quiet for a second as he got his bearings before he heard the hall full of students begin guffawing in ernest. Quickly summoning his wand he conjured himself a set of robes before standing a taking a gracious bow. He motioned for silence before speaking; "An excellent display of magic, planning and forethought, I consider myself well and truly pranked, my congratulations to the perpetrators." he said with a quick glance to the Gryffindor table before summoning his chair to him from the staff table. He stood on the chair and spoke again, "Now, if you will excuse me, I believe I have a bathtub to chase down. Minerva, Filius, your assistance would be most appreciated." He nodded to the staff table before motioning at the chair he was standing on with his wand. The chair gave a small shiver before the legs animated and began racing through the doorway after the tub.

McGonagall and Flitwick both exchanged a look before grinning and hopping up onto their own chairs. Flitwick animated his chair as the headmaster had done whilst McGonagall transfigured hers into a small horse. They shared another look before Flitwick announced, "The hunt is on!" and they departed the hall to the cheers of the student body.


	2. A Bad Day for Professor Snape

All noise ceased in the dungeon classroom as the 4th year Gryffindors and Slytherins turned at the sound of the door opening. In swept Severus Snape, fashionably late, cloak billowing in an unseen wind, potion master, 'reformed' death eater and bane of all Gryffindors to have ever walked the halls of Hogwarts. At least that was the plan.

Before anyone could react and before an even semi impressive billow could be coaxed out of his cloak Severus Snape was caught by a trip jinx and sent crashing to the floor.

Everyone was in shock as they watched their potions professor fall, seemingly in slow motion, to the floor. That wasn't all, as the floor didn't seem to stop him. He just kept right on going, through the floor and out of sight.

The Slytherins were outraged. The Gryffindors were torn between outright joy and trepidation at the punishment sure to come their way.

Professor Trelawney's class of 3rd years were interpreting their dream diarys. It had been an unfulfilling lesson for most of them, especially for Luna Lovegood whose mother had already taught her practically all the useful aspects of divination, being a seer herself. She was half listening as Professor Trelawney told the girl next to her that very soon a tall dark man would appear very prominently in her life and to watch for him.

She was pulled out of her reverie by the sudden appearance of Professor Snape approximately seven feet directly above their table and travelling towards them at high velocity.

There was a deafening crash as he hit the table, almost drowned out by an even more deafening shriek from Professor Trelawney, who promptly fainted.

Professor Snape rose groggily, everyone in the class could feel waves of hatred, rage and contempt emanating from the man. They didn't need a seer to tell them that someone was about to need a new school, if not serious medical attention.

Standing straighter Snape stalked out of the classroom without a word.

Luna turned to the girl next to her, who was white with shock and fright, and said sweetly; "You don't think he was the tall, dark man for you to watch out for do you?"

The girl went even whiter, if that were possible, before fainting like her teacher. Luna giggled inwardly whilst humming a tune and skipping out of the classroom with her books.

Snape raced through the castle back down to the dungeons. He banished the trip jinx on the door with a wave of his wand, cast a finite spell at the invisible portal on the floor and stalked into the classroom ready to string up every Gryffindor in sight. At least, that was the plan.

He did successfully removed the trip jinx, but unfortunately missed the muggle trip-wire that it concealed. His finite spell did manage to get rid of the invisibility part of the portal but as to the portal itself, all it achieved was to change its destination.

Professor Flitwick's class was having a brilliant time. They had been taught the summoning and banishment spells and were currently using them to have a rather large scale pillow fight. Professor Flitwick was refereeing with a smile on his face. He'd always believed that learning should be fun and so was permanently trying to come up with new ways to enhance his lessons with such activities. The fact that it drove everyone to master the charms as quickly as possible was always a nice bonus.

Currently the Ravenclaws were winning, having taken an early lead what with the majority getting the hang of the spell faster than their Slytherin counterparts. The Slytherins were slowly clawing their way back with underhanded tactics, however.

It was into this fun and chaotic mess that Severus Snape appeared, falling at considerable speed. If he was surprised that his forward momentum had once more been turned into downwards momentum, he was even more shocked that said downwards motion was once more converted into horizontal motion by application of a banishment charm.

Astoria Greengrass was having a wonderful charms lesson. She'd quickly picked up the banishment charm and had yet to resort to the cheating tactics of her housemates in order to start gaining the upper hand. Her aim was still a little off though. Her fun was quickly turned to shock and horror as her housemaster appeared in front of her, even more so as one of her misaimed spells struck him square in the chest and sent him flying at full speed through the closed window with a loud crash.

Suddenly everyone stopped what they were doing. There was a seconds pause before they all, Flitwick included rushed to the window in time to see a screaming Professor Snape cast a cushioning charm on the ground and slow his descent nearly four floors and forty feet from where they were watching. Still in shock, Professor Flitwick turned to Astoria once the potions professor had run inside the castle. "I won't tell him if you don't" he said to the girl, who looked like she was about to be sick.

Professor Snape's eye was twitching in rage as he rant full speed towards his classroom. He decided _'To hell with subtlety'_ and leapt over the tripwire in his doorframe and, with a shout of triumph, over the visible, two foot wide portal on the floor.

Unfortunately he missed the, still invisible, vertical portal just beyond the one on the floor.

Dumbledore was having a bad day. The board of governors was not impressed with how the Triwizard tournament was going so far. An escaping dragon was a sure fire way to have bureaucrats and parents alike screaming down his ear. He was just finishing up the meeting, feeling slightly worse for wear when he sensed a peculiar brand of magic in the air. He pulled out his wand and looked suspiciously at the governors arranged in front of him.

He was very surprised, though he tried not to show it, when his potions master came flying out of the portrait of Dilys Derwent to land just behind the governors' chairs.

"Ha HA!" he yelled triumphantly as he arrived, before landing awkwardly and taking stock of the situation. As Dumbledore and the board turned to face him he went very red in the face, a vein on his forehead began to pulse ominously and his right eye began twitching like mad. Without another word he turned and practically ran from the room. The board of governors quickly turned back to Dumbledore.

"Albus, wasn't that man Professor Snape?" one inquired

"Why yes I believe he was."

"Shouldn't he be teaching right now?" another asked

"That was my general impression of today's timetable, though I could be mistaken."

"Then what was he doing appearing in your office? I thought apparition was impossible on the grounds."

"I can assure you I have no idea why he was here, or indeed why he left so abruptly, though I have my suspicions. As to your other question, it is quite impossible to apparate here without my lifting the wards to allow it. I assure you that once we are finished here I shall devote my best efforts to unravel this mystery" the aged headmaster replied with a twinkle in his eye.

It was several hours later as Harry was sat in the Gryffindor common room that the secret behind Professor Snape's vanishing act came out. Fred and George had just wandered in and sat by him busy congratulating themselves.

"Why Gred, I do believe that this was our best prank yet."

"Indeed Forge, though I do think we owe it to our little house elf friends more than we'd care to admit."

"Yes, but it was spectacular wasn't it?"

"Indeed it was, oh brother mine."

"Go on then, spill it," Harry said, taking the bait, the twins always loved bragging about their exploits to him, he thought they might be trying to groom him into their protege or something, "It was you two who set up that thing in Snape's dungeon wasn't it?"

"Whatever do you mean Harry?" said one

"You couldn't possibly be accusing us now could you?" said the other in a hurt tone

"Cut it out, what did you do?"

"Ah, well, you know how the house elves can pop about here there and everywhere inside the castle even though apparition is impossible."

"Yeah"

"Well, we've spent the last three years getting all buddy-buddy with them down in the kitchens and we finally managed to persuade them to teach us how they do it."

"So you can now just pop about wherever you want? That's amazing!"

"Whoa, not so fast there, cowboy. It may be an innate skill for house elves but for wizards it takes an incredibly complex and difficult spell to even get close to matching the results."

"Yeah, you have to set up portals and arrival and departure wards, it's just not practical for everyday use."

"However, with a bit of Weasley tweaking…"

"We could, say, set up an entry portal somewhere…"

"Make it invisible…"

"Key it in to a specific person…"

"Then set up exit portals in several key locations around Hogwarts…"

"Not to mention the surrounding grounds and forest."

Harry was in awe, these two were geniuses. "Wait, how many exit portals did you make?"

"Let's see…" they began to count off on each others fingers

"Well one in each of the other teachers' classrooms and offices…" one began

"In case a certain someone wanted to visit his colleagues." the other justified with a grin

"Then their's Dumbledore's office…"

"In case they have a report to give, or a detention to justify."

"Draco Malfoy's bed…"

"Because sometimes we all just want to visit our favourite student."

"The great lake…"

"For bath time"

"The Three Broomsticks…"

"Somewhere to go to wind down after a long day's cruelty."

"The Acromantula den, the centaur sleeping quarters, the unicorn herd's glade, the threstral feeding gourds, the mermen underwater city and Charlie's dragon enclosure in Romania."

"In case they wanted to collect some rare and exciting potions ingredients." They finished with an evil grin.

"Oh and Professor Sprout's manure heap out behind greenhouse two."

"Oh, yeah, I forgot about that one… did we ever come up with a justification for that one?"

"Why no, brother mine, I don't believe we did."

"Ah, well, you win some, you lose some… right, I'm off to bed. Pleasant dreams Harry."

"Yeah, see ya Harry."

They both left, still smirking at the gobsmacked teen they had left in the common room.

Harry's dreams that night were very pleasant indeed, seeming to involve, for no apparent reason, a certain potions master in several life threatening situations.


	3. A Shocking Development

The lesson was drawing to a close and the diminutive Professor Flitwick was reminding his second year students of their homework assignments before they disappeared in their haste to escape the classroom. As the bell rang the students began a mad dash to pack their things and be the first out of the door and into the wondrous freedom of their half hour morning break. The odd exceptions to the trend being the Weasley twins.

The pair showed an innovative and inquisitive spirit the short professor had only rarely come across in his many years of teaching. If it hadn't have been for their numerous pranks against his fellow staff members then he'd have praised them as a teacher's dream students. To that end they often hung back at the end of his classes to ask for new spell recommendations or to ask about a specific aspect of one of the charms they'd found in the library. Today seemed no different.

"Hello, boys. What can I help you with today?" He asked as they approached his desk. He didn't always give his information away for free to the pair and was mentally thinking of tasks he could ask the two to perform, such as filing his latest set of reports or maybe even looking over the first years' mock tests. He didn't demand a service from everyone. In fact, being a Ravenclaw by nature, he lauded and praised the pursuit of knowledge for knowledge's sake. However, the two would invariably pursue knowledge not for the sake of it but instead to help them in whatever prank they had planned next.

"Nothing of the sort today, sir. We merely wished to thank you for the last book on energy amplification and to tell you that we have even now found a way to put it to good use." Replied the twin on the left as he extended his arm as if to initiate a handshake.

Filius Flitwick was not a careless man. You didn't survive thirteen years as a professional dueller without developing an unhealthy amount of caution. This was why, especially around the pranking duo, he maintained a spell detection ward that would alert him of any potentially dangerous spell targeting him or his immediate vicinity. It was how he had survived many 'unofficial' duels and more importantly, how he had made it through his teaching career relatively unscathed. Currently his senses were screaming out to him that something was wrong despite the silence of his detection wards.

"Well, that is certainly good to hear." He spoke as he reached forward with his short arms to shake the boy's hand. "Are you sure there's nothing that sparked your interest in todays…?" He began, but stopped just as he clasped hands with the young prankster.

Suddenly the short professor was lifted bodily off of his feet and lit up like a cheap Christmas decoration as a bolt of electricity shot through his system. The man's hair stood on all ends and began to smoke before the power of the shock sent him hurtling into the pile of cushions he kept beneath the window behind his desk with a crack.

Shakily and smoking slightly, the stocky professor blearily pulled himself up and looked around his classroom. As his vision swam back into focus he saw the Weasley boy stood in exactly the same place as before holding up his palm to show a small metallic thing resting in its centre.

"Muggle tech and magic working together as one, and it's all thanks to you, Professor." He announced to the dazed man before pocketing the magically charged muggle buzzer. "See you in tomorrow's lesson." He announced before turning on his heel and leaving through the open classroom door.

Professor Flitwick took the time to shake his head wearily and sigh before collapsing back down onto the pillow pile. He had the feeling things were going to get worse from there on out even without his help.


End file.
